NEXT YEAR'S WISH

"I want to be something,something that I never thought I could be."

-Muhammad Khalis.

Phsycopath Revealed!

Follow lah blog aku,follow tau,follow tau,tau?

I received above notes,quite several times.I don't understand them,seriously.Come on,who can stand such things? You? Don't lie because I know you hate it as much as I am,didn't you? I mean,who are you? What makes you think people will follow you when you ask them to do so?

Besides,I don't get it when people get super-duper obsessed about the famous bloggers in Malaysia.I don't know them actually.In fact,I don't want to know about them.I only know Hanis Zalikha because everyone knows her in my campus.I visited her blog once and I'm pretty shocked to see her followers like,thousands of them! I can see a lot of people write about her,praise her and paste her pictures on their blogs.

Finally,I came up with a conclusion,that people want to be like her! Followers will make you popular.If you have more followers,then you will become more popular.That was what on their mind.It's funny when I viewed someone's blog and he wrote something sounds like this,

Aku rasa tak payah lah aku cerita siapa Hanis Zalikha,Cik Epal dan Sue Ann Joe ni.Kalau tak kenal jugak,baik berhenti jadi blogger lah.

Hahaha,kesah pulak aku? Baik kau je yang berhenti jadi blogger.Lepas tu kau pergi ampu,pergi kipas idola-idola kau tu.Is this some kind of extremely stupid blogging rules made by stupid people? It is mandatory to recognize those famous bloggers?

This has nothing to do with envy or jealousy.Maybe my blog is boring but it's clearly not an issue to me.When it comes to blogging,it is all about art.Yes,blogging is an art.Blogging is more than blogging to me.In my world,blogging requires my creativity to turn my emotional expression into something beneficial for my own sake.That was the only reason why I don't really care about followers and stuff.I don't hunt for fame because it is not my thing.

Blogging ain't an industry.Therefore,it is so much better if I have no followers at all compared to those people who are willing to kiss someone's ass just to increase the amount of their followers.Wake up morons,life is more than that.This is not an accusation.I'm not pointing my finger to anyone or put all the blame on someone's shoulder.I just thinking that I'm too awesome to be like them,a bunch of buttkissers and attention seekers!

You don't have to tell me to follow your blog because I will follow you only if I want to,okay?

Judgemental of beautiness

There are two pictures down here.What do you think about the girl? Guys,please make your own selection,which girl suits your criteria?

Do you have any idea that they are the same person? She's Tiffany from sensational girl group of South Korea,called Girls Generation.I don't really know if she's underwent some surgeries or vice versa.I just knew it from my sister because she's more into K-pop stuff.Actually,I don't care as long as she's super cute and extremely gorgeous.I have downloaded her pictures into my cellphone.I just can't take my eyes off her!

Some people just keep bashing them because of plastic surgeries.Come on,what era do we live in right now? If you're looking for natural and stuff,let me send you to Amazon.I'm a simple person.I don't judge past.I don't deny someone's beauty.I'm just being truth to myself and that's make me feel that surgeries are fake substitution of hatred.

Do you know how it feels to be an ugly duckling? Do you know how it feels when you are powerless? Do you know how it feels when you didn't own any strength to appreciate yourself? No matter which road was taken,it's inappropriate for us to against it because everyone deserves to be beautiful.

The confession of differences and variations

I used to envy those guys who really enjoyed playing guitar,skateboard,fixing bicycle,soccer,rugby and stuff.They even can write songs for their girlfriend! I mean,those activities which resemble any cool actions or mans world.

They seem to be perfect because they were pretty cool.You know,you can see those guys on most American teenage movies,want me to list down? It will takes forever.

The problem is,I think I'm 80% introvert.I enjoyed indoor activities most compared to the outdoor one because I thought it is more relaxing.Damn,when it comes to socialize,my life is all about extreme relaxation! Here are several activities I enjoyed most :

1. Smoke.It's a very bad bad habit but I never went through a day without it.
2. Karaoke.I sounds like a machine when I started to sing.No one cares actually.
3. DVDs.I watched nearly three movies a night.I can't avoid it,until now.
4. Games.You might think I'm a weirdo but I just finished playing my Pokemon Fire Red about last week.Lately,I'm working my ass off on Harvest Moon : Friends of Mineral Town.
5. Write.I love to write something inspirational for myself.
6. Draw.I love to draw something beyond my imagination.
7. Blog.I love blogging but I'm not a constant blogger though.
8. Cards.I'm addicted to it.I can spent eight hours a day on playing cards.
9. Dream.I create my own alter ego and other characters inside my mind.
10. Sleep.The best damn thing and the greatest gift of God.

See,there's nothing special about me.I was like your little brother.I was the least attractive guy compared to my friends or other guys.Girls will never look at me or fall in love with me,unless something is going wrong with their brains.People think what I need most is life,that was so mean.

Motherfuck,I do have a life and I don't give a damn if people called me lifeless.I can't deny it brings me no where physically but it brings me to somewhere far far far away to a level located in internal side of myself which can be spelled as satisfaction.I don't have to like the things that I dislike just to make myself more attractive in public eyes.I am not that desperate and I hate playing dramas.

I always said that I know I'm good at something but I just haven't found it yet.Well,I believe that.People born with different interests and that is where the ultimate word called variation came from.Being happy is my top priority.I will never be the old me again.The guy who didn't have any ability to appreciate himself just the way he are.

Life Is All About Moving On

Just got back home from a long chat with a very good friend of mine,Ahmad Firdaus.We're not gossiping like two sluts nagging about something but it's more into manly conversation.I admit,every single time I met him,I always obtained a new lesson in my life.In other words,I really appreciate those moments I had.

As I grew older,I found it was difficult to meet someone who I can talk to mainly about everything.You know,I'm not the type of pathetic people who love to talk trash actually.

I miss all of my friends who used to be my brainwasher! I love to listen to their magical words.That was the only reason I really appreciated those so called guardian angels.Moreover,when a lot of really bad things happened to you and you just can't even swallow it anymore,that was the time you actually need those people.They calm you down,listen to your hectic problems and try to give a raw solution to help you.Please tell me,what could be more greater than that? God sent them to simplify our problems,to make our life much more easier.

But I realized,as times goes by,most of them just walk away from you and they went to meet someone because they think it's better to create a new storyline than live in an awful drama.I believe,friends walk away because they could walk away.I will not kiss their ass just to make them stay with me.When people walk away from you,just let them go because your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.It's not that they are being mean to you.It's just their chapter in your life is over.

I don't want to live in a fantasy.I don't want to be a fool.I don't want to be influenced by those fairytale stories because they don't even exists.I'm sick of expect something beyond the ugly truth.I just want to keep it real.

Final examination - Result!

I just opened my Google account and suddenly I found

I want to admit that I'm so happy,I could die right now! I screamed like a hell.You can say whatever you want,I don't care! HAHA

Ohh,happy day~

This means big enough for me.I thought I couldn't handle this course because it's not the course that I want at first,and I didn't applied for it.Besides,I think all of the subjects were extremely hard.Sometimes,I just want to gave up,quit and apply for another courses.I never thought I could score 3 or above because I didn't have any desirable passions that will lead to it.

But God has a better plan for me.I believe things happened for reasons.It was beyond my expectation! However,it's just another victory.Obviously,I still got a long way to go.I must work harder starting from now.Damn,I kinda really like my life right now because I feel like I already accomplished something which I never thought I could.Alhamdulillah.

Kawan-kawan,jangan jealeous! Sekarang,boleh lah aku tidur dengan nyenyak sehingga January.

Kamu semua ada bela binatang tak?

I once have a lot of pets.Squirrel,goldfish,tortoise,lizard and cat.I never bought them,they just came naturally to my house.At certain stages,I don't think I could be able to handle all of them.I believe animals can hear what you don't say.Therefore,

1. My squirrel and tortoise were ran away maybe because they felt unwanted.HAHA.
2. My goldfishes were dead.
3. My lizard got killed by neighbor's cat.

All of those nonsense pets were my sister's idea.Damn,I dislike pets which I can't kiss or hug.I just can't feel their love.You know,like fish,they live underwater,they will never listen to what you say.Tortoise,they weren't friendly at all,always went inside their shells whenever I want to play with them.Squirrel,I don't blame them because I'm not a big fan of small hairball,I hate rats and their friends.Lizard,I don't have any idea what to do with them.

Cat! Cat was the only exception! I owns a cat.I called her Tommy.Wait a minute,the cat is a girl so what's up with her name? Tommy? I can explain this.I found her inside the store backyard when she was a baby,she was alone with no family.I felt pity so I decided to take her home.At that time,she's very petite,her gender was unidentified and I thought she was a boy.I just named her Tommy!

She's not very pretty compared to your cats,or other cats.She's black and she couldn't walk well because she's handicapped.Besides,she also got a sightness problem,I think she was half-blinded.She's not so friendly with people she didn't used to.But that doesn't affect my love towards her.She's 2.1 kg now.She eat a lot.She sleep a lot.Just like me.She slept with me every night and she's the one who woke me up the next day.Whenever I have problem and I need to talk to someone,I talked to Tommy.She's understanding,she maybe looks stupid and clueless but once I look deep inside her eyes,I can hear,

Be strong baby,I knew you can do it!

No one likes her,those kids hate her so much because they said Tommy was ugly.They used to hit Tommy with rackets when they were playing badminton in front of my house.I was like,you hit my cat,in front of my house? Not once,not twice but what?

Lepas tu mulut aku tak henti-henti bagi salam sayang cerca bernanah dekat budak-budak tu.Aku tak ambil peduli anak siapa,miskin ke kaya,anak emas ke anak yatim,aku sembur je.Ye lah,siapa tak marah,kucing tu dah aku anggap macam keluarga aku sendiri,boleh pula nak pukul-pukul.Celaka.

Berita sedih : Tommy dah tak virgin lagi.Aku ada video dia mengawan dengan kucing rumah sebelah,memang sakan!

Past remains as past.

I just opened my school yearbook.You know what type of book,didn't you? Mine was called Inspirasi,I know it sounds weird.It was last year session,which is my final year in the school.I was laughing my ass so bad when I saw those class photos because some of my friends gave a bizzare faces on those photos!

Especially when I turned into the pages where my class was on.Ohh,I really miss them because I never met most of them after school ends.I wonder what happened to them.When we were in high school,we made a lot of pinky promises like,

1. Habis SPM ni,kita kerja nak? Kerja satu tempat lah senang,apa-apa hal boleh mengumpat.
2. Lepas tu,kita sewa la rumah,duduk ramai-ramai,baru best!
3. Nanti kalau nak buat driving license,inform lah aku,boleh buat sama-sama!

Well,like I mentioned just now,it was just a pinky promises.Back on that time,I knew it will not going to be happen but I kept myself silent because I don't have guts to ruining that so called precious moments.All of those promises didn't really happened,everyone just mind their own businesses including me.Well,I'm not surprised at all.

When I was in Form 2,I remembered my teacher,Mrs.Zarani said,

Zaman awak sekolah ni,awak semua hargailah dengan sebaik-baiknya.Sebab ia salah satu jangka masa yang paling seronok dalam hidup awak.Lepas habis sekolah,susah awak nak berkumpul sama-sama lagi.Percayalah cakap saya.

I never forget what she said and that's what I interpreted to my soul.Luckily,I managed to graduated in high school with bittersweet memories and of course I will remember the sweet one most.The place where I met myself,my bestfriends,and also my first girlfriend.

I learned it is important to live our current live to the fullest.I think,I appreciate every moments of my high school life.I'm not a drama king but seriously high school is more than high school to me.

p/s : Just finished watch Japanese drama,My Boss My Hero.That's why I'm feeling so in the school mood!

I don't change,I just grow up.

Just got back home from meeting my friends.We were playing cards and stuff.In short,all of us just went through a very typical day and nothing was going on much.It's just another day.

When I arrived home,I don't know what to do and I just sat on the couch tuned on MTV channel.Suddenly,it was Keane with their song,Everybody's Changing! It used to be my favorite song before! That was the moment I thought to myself about all of the people around me and I realized they are not the same person as they were before.

My sister,the youngest one who is 11 years old already showed drastic changes.If I wasn't mistaken,she never care how she look likes before.She refused to wear make ups and all of her clothes were like,so Kikilala and stuff.Now,she completely had a massive transformations because she started to put on some make-ups,she wore tight jeans and high heels.She once wore a skirt,that was even worst! Damn,she looks older than she is. She didn't watch Pheneas and Ferb anymore because she's now so into those sluts of Kardashians.

I can feel that some of my friends are changing,into better or worst,I don't really care about it actually.Some of them went to college and turned into another person.They took drugs,alcohols,went to clubs and stuffs.While some went to work elsewhere,they already met new friends and finally forget all of the things.

To be frank,I don't blame them.In fact,I don't blame anyone.I guess I'm big enough to understand that nothing lasts forever.Sooner or later,time will change everything.Let's just don't expect something too much,otherwise it will be ended up with frustrations.

Everbody's Changing.This song resonates me very well because I used to be stuck in the past.I felt this song reminds me that I don't have to worry if everything is changing.I will find my own changes.I don't have to change what is good in me but throw away what is bad.I don't have to follow anyone else but I don't fight for the change itself.

Holiday is never meant for those morons.

To be truth,I never hate holiday in my entire lifetime unlike those lifeless morons who wished holiday come as soon as possible but make an annoying statement about their boredom on Facebook and stuff not long after holiday arrived.Go out and do something outrageous for yourself,assholes!

I didn't do any job recently because it was already too little too late.I only have less than a month left.Therefore,I will use my golden moment as well as it can be.When it comes to life,I must stop thinking what to do and I better go with the flow while live it to the fullest!

I don't know how to describe my activities during this holiday.I'm a little bit clueless,whether I should start my words with day first,or night first.Usually,people start their life during the day time but...

Day.

I woke up everyday at 4pm,and if I was lucky enough,I woke up an hour earlier which is at 3pm.Then,I have my bath time,shower-singing and head-banging at 5pm.After that,I have my lunch at 6pm.

Night.

I surfed internet at 8pm and it lasts for nearly two hours usually.Then,I went out with my friends and only got back home at 3am.I watched two movies everyday until 7am.Last but not least,I played my Pokemon Fire Red until 10am.I went to sleep not long after that.

Benda yang sama.Berulang-ulang,ulang,ulang,ulang,ulang,ulang....Mesti kau orang kata aku ni membosankan tapi terus terang aku bahagia dengan cara hidup macam ni.

I can feel my life symbolizes the real definition of a holiday.

If it wasn't because of your stupidity.

There are several hot issues lately that everyone is talking about.

Firstly,did you already watch a very stupid video on Facebook? I don't remember the title because someone tagged me on that shit and I was like,what the fuck? The extremely stupid girl who cried over a fugly guy and they ended up the video by kissing each other in front of public.If I wasn't mistaken,the title was Romantika di Kuala Lumpur.What a silly name?

Secondly,about the most famous doctor in the country which is the one and only Dr.Rozmey.I once visited his fanpage on Facebook or Twitter and I was rolling on the floor laughing reading all of the comments made by his 'fans'.Only one word came up in my mind whenever I saw his face,it spelled disaster.Everything is disaster about him,don't you think? His mushroom-shaped hair,his outrageous outfit like he bought in a bundle nearby and his meltdown movies which is said to be a phenomenon,but nothing is actually going to happen.

Like I said before on my previous post,I'm an observer of human stupidity.But,at certain times,I'm not quite sure whether it can be considered as stupid or not because when it comes to individual personals and interests,I guess it's better to shut our mouth and say nothing about it.

If you have a couple of things that might potentially lead to hatred and dissatisfaction which caused by my writings,I am so sorry.I'm a grown man and I don't have such fishy intentions pointing my fingers to anyone and I didn't wrote this blog to boycotting and condemning particular people.My blog contents stand for general phrases.

Whether you accept my apology or not,I don't give a fuck about it anymore,it's up to you.

Pierced nipple,coming soon

I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me these days.I know how to resist anything,but not my temptation.What gives me a massive headache is the curiousity itself because it's all mainly about negativity.Fuck,it going to kill me soon,slowly and smoothly.

On the very previous post,I have already mentioned about how bad I want to take drugs and stuffs.This time,I feel like want to pierce somewhere in my upper body.In my left nipple,maybe? Does it hurt so badly?

I'm not a bad guy,I just want to try.I want to know how it feels.

I'm delusional,I'm delusional and I'm losing my mind!

I'm growing up like a normal human.I admit that time hasn't affected me physically,completely.It only bothering my fucking head because a lot of things playing around in my brain.There are so many stuffs needed to think about as we grew older,aren't we?

Actually,I don't understand about the phenomena between human and drugs.Firstly,it's not that I condemning people who take drugs because I have friends who take it as well.The gravity of situation here is,I met a lot of drug-addicted people in my precious eighteen years of my life and if I had a conversations,mainly about drugs with those people...

I just wondering why they praising and worshipping the effects of each drugs in the first place like it was the potion of life.They told that if they had ice,it will make them sleepless and their body will become hundred times more productive.Furthermore,they managed to complete their unfinished assignments or homeworks and so on without feeling any exhaustion.So as the other types,most of them used when one is tired of feeling tension and frustration,need something new in their life or search for extreme enjoyment.Sounds pretty cool,huh?

Then,they are pretending like they so fucking care about me as they asking me don't take this because it's dangerous,don't take that because it's harmful.Otherwise,you will going to end your life like me,they said.I just want to ROFL seriously! After that,they told me how pathetic their life because of tremendous weight loss,vomiting,loss of appertite,hallucination and blah..blah..blah...which is doesn't related in whichever circumstances of the things came out from their mouth in the first place.

HAHA,you guys are being so unfair to me! You makes it sounds tempting and desiring but you inconsiderately chop off those sensations in the end.

How sweet of you,it means you care about me,right? Enough to know that! Damn,you know I'm a nice boy and for God sake I will never touch those stuffs eventhough I really want it as I want to lick Megan Fox's tits!

Makanan paling sedap di UiTM Johor

Eat,highly-anticipated to be the most exciting activities in my life,next to sleep.Here in my place,it is not difficult to find my favorite food.In fact,I can find them anywhere I guess!

The first one is the food that never failed to make my tummy turned upside down! Based on the picture above,it is so obvious that all of you know what it is,right? Unless you're so stupid,its spelled Asam Pedas Ikan Pari.

Kalau dekat rumah,aku suruh mak aku masak je.Esoknya,bangun tidur pukul 2 petang,tengok-tengok dah ada bawah tudung saji.

The second one is very cute,adorable,underrated food of all time.This one is Pau Kacang! I don't know if it contains any nicotine inside because I'm so addicted to it! Besides,it is also my own sex symbol-type-of food in my eyes because of its shape,and taste,maybe.

Dah la putih,gebu,comel,sedap pula tu!

Another post for tear-jerker

Three more papers to go! The next one is on this upcoming Monday.I decided to chill a little bit tonight,as usual,watching movies until morning.There's nothing much I can do here during my free time actually,instead of zzzzzzzz and moviesssss!

Apparently,I'm not a huge fan of Korean movies.In fact,I really fuck those who have major problem such as strong obsession towards whatsoever stuffs from Korea.Just look at my sister,she find it hard to fall in love with a local dude because she was so into,what they call it? Alaahhh,a bunch of boys yang nyanyi lagu Sorry Sorry tu.Damn,I call this a type of infectious disease because both of my sisters suffer similar issue.

When it comes to dramas or movies,I prefer Japanese compared to Korean because I think Japanese produced better story-line,short but compact and their language was pretty enjoyable to listen to.While Korean love to make long stories,there will be tear-fall endlessly scene on each episode and it is annoying!

I seldomly posted about how great a movie was before but I really need to post one right now! I just watched a Korean movie called A Millionaire's First Love and I think it was magnificent! It's been so many times I've watched action movies,okay yesterday I watched Wanted and also Inglorious Basterds already.Now,it's time for me to turn blue.

Oh,it's really saddening! When God loves more the one we love the most.It would be wasting of time if I tell you the story,why don't you watch it for yourself? Please,you will not regret about it!

Examination

I'm on my examination week! The duration is about a fortnight,and then I can get off from here.It's kind of amusing to see everyone,studying like there's no tomorrow.Frankly said,it really helps me a lot,I mean their current behavior kind of motivative.

This is the only time I need to focus more on my academic.Besides,I have set my target,and of course I have to work my fucking ass off towards my accomplishments.I remember my SPM era,that time I have my own effective ways of studying,especially memorizing something and I did well on most of my papers.Let's hope history repeat for itself!!

Furthermore,I'm not going spend hours of my precious time sitting in front of my laptop.But I already broke my promise because I watched two movies last night! How could this happened? I watched Remember Me,starred by biggest homo Robert Pattinson,which is the most regretful two hours of my life I guess! After that,I watched Dear John,alahh the film with plenty of scenes-at -the-beach but nothing is actually happened.Last night I was damn sleepy,therefore I didn't get it,at all,both movies! I'm such an awful timewaster! Tonight is going to be hot,hopefully because I want to watch The Runaways,they say there will be a kissing scene and lesbian part between Dakota Fanning and Kirsten Stewart,is that true?

Praise the Lord! I'm not the type of pathetic human who have an ability to surf Facebook and stick on it like,4-5 hours every night! Obsession,it is an infectious disease and it can express stupidity but I realized that I shouldn't say this.It's all about life,it's their life by the way even if I think they should get one right now.

I better go studying something right now! Guys,do wish me a good luck,okay?

Now I get it,why people love to talk about this

Last night,I was having a chat with a good friend of mine,Yvonne May.

I tagged my Facebook picture,of me wearing my green Converse.She said she's more into blue colour.We replied each other's comments,about colours and stuff.Then,I said that I really adore the combination of green and purple because both are my favourite colours.

Just now,she tagged me on one of her photos.

Ahhhh...cantiknyaaa kasut..

I'm not a huge fan of Supra,or Onitsuka.I'm not against the mainstream of trend but Supra is a really new to me.I seldom heard about it before.But,I can't admit that the shoes above is SUPER AWESOME!!

Reasons on why I should hate my life now!

I think there is nothing wrong when we are unable to isolate the hate feeling towards our recent life.I'm not ungrateful human being,I just went through a process of detecting my past mistakes,it is mainly to ensure that it will never happen again after this.

1. I don't like my course.It's been nearly four months I learned all about it and I tried extremely hard to blend it with my soul but still,I can't adapt it.
2. I don't like the fact that I have to pay RM15K after I finished my diploma.It's not worth at all you know,when you have to pay back all the debts for something you have no interests at all.
3. I don't like it all when it comes to Kesatria Negara.
4. I don't like feeling homesick because being here sometimes torturing inside out.
5. I don't like it when I counted days to go back home.
6. I don't like it when I acted like nothing happened when I returned back home.
7. I don't like it when I smoked whenever I felt bad about myself.
8. I don't like it when I have to be super-concern about people to ensure there is no heart feelings will occur.
9. I hate it when people asked me 'Kenapa selalu balik?'
10. I hate it all.

I wish I could be a person who enjoys his life as a university student.Furthermore,a lot of people told me before that university life is beautiful.I'm not demanding for more actually.

If God has fated my life this way,I hope that He will make it more easy for me to accept it.If we can't kick off all the problems,that's mean we have to learn to live with it.Well,it's spelled LIFE,we obviously can't get all the things we want.Dissapointment is always a winner!

Damn,now I know why people say blogging is therapeutic!

Help! I really need help!

Can anyone tell me how to attain maturity externally?

However,this is not a big problem for me because I have no serious issues when it comes to my physical appearance.I'm only 55kg and 165cm tall,I know I'm short but who the hell want to give a fuck? Even my own biological mother never said a word about it.

When I first came here,I was like,wow,there are so many tall and huge guys here! That was the moment when I realized how small and short I was.Therefore,I flashed back my past times,I also remembered something,it's humiliating actually..

If I wasn't mistaken,my ex-girlfriend stands as high as me although she was two years younger than me.When we were dated,I hoped that she didn't wear high heels!

I also don't have a guy look,because a few of my friends said to me that I still looked like a kid.My mustache also didn't grow like a Punjab man.They say that I will never get a girl because I'm still a kiddy and shorty.It's saddening!

Bersyukurlah dengan apa yang kita ada.Nasib baik ada muka walaupun tak hensem,nasib baik ada kaki walaupun tak panjang.

Kenapa aku tak ada makwe?

People keep asking me ONE annoying question,which is...

Kenapa kau tak ada makwe?

Then,I always replied ONE annoying answer,which is...

Masanya belum sampai....

Here in my place,I can see a lot of lovebirds flying around together everywhere.

Besides,most of my friends also have found their own birds.I'm the only one who haven't found any yet.Eventhough they sometimes kind of overrated and make us all want to puke so bad primarily because they were so Edward-Bella wannabe,but I'm quite happy for them.

Birds? What an asshole metaphor elements.I don't even know why,no interesting species maybe?

If I want a bird,tak main lah setakat pipit,enggan,kenyalang ni weh....Aku prefer lagendary bird dalam Pokemon tu tau.

Macam ni lah,aku bukan jenis yang 'asalkan ada'.Aku bukan memilih,tapi aku suka apa yang aku suka.Buat apa nak paksa kalau tak suka? Kalau orang kata aku tak laku pun,aku tak kisah...

Good things always waiting for the one who keep waiting!

By saying someone stupid doesn't make you any clever.

A few months ago,I was a little bit happy when I stepped into university.I was thinking that I will no longer meet those people of outdated minded and low mentality.You can blame me for this,come on.I was the one who expect too much.

First of all,let me clear this.This very recent post is very general and I have no such fishy intentions to point to anyone.Those who might feel this post a little bit offensive,I am so sorry.

I have never talk about this before on my blog.It is mainly about the most annoying phases,words,sentences or lines that usually came out from a bunch of losers who are live in Johor Bahru.

Ehh,kau tau tak,kos hidup dekat JB jauh lagi mahal daripada KL.Sebab JB nak compete harga dengan Singapore.

I know.I know that everybody loves the place where they come from.It is clearly symbolizes patriotism among the youths,that's good.But,when you heard those lines above voiced out repeatedly,over and over again,that's not so good.

If the cost of living in JB is way higher compared to KL,it doesn't mean those people who live in KL enjoy low standard of living and worst quality of life.Actually,I just want you to know that the excitement towards development of a city does not rely on how much it going to cost you to live,it is more to how well you can adapt yourself into the current environmental situation.

It's just same.No big differences.Both got large population,many huge buildings,traffic jams,criminal cases,pollution and also prostitution.Stop it,man.Please stop making a gap between the two cities,both develop well and both located in our country.We are Malaysian what?

I was wondering,why did they told me about it,I really have no idea.I don't even live in KL laa machaaaaaa!! Go ditch someone else lah fucker.

The Tormented Momment of Motivation Session!

Last night was very dramatic.The night where you can actually witness an annoying situation,mainly about dissatisfaction towards this and that.This commonly happened here and I am used to it.

We have been asked by our seniors to bring along a piece of A4 paper and a pen.The first thing is to divide a paper into two columns.Then,write your name on the top of the paper.On the left side,put a header entitled PERANGAI BAIK SAYA while on the right side of course it would be PERANGAI BURUK SAYA.

You want to know what they wrote about me? HAHA! I'm so shy! Okay,let's start with good things first,shall we? Damn.

PERANGAI BAIK SAYA.

1. Sentiasa bertanya khabar.
2. Sentiasa senyum kepada orang sekeliling.
3. Suka tolong orang.
4. Memahami perasaan orang.
5. Peramah.
6. Bertanggungjawab.
7. Sporting.
8. Menghormati orang lain.
9. Gay.
10. Handsome

I was pretty shocked when I read it.I didn't expect that I will receive such positive feedback.I thought no one is going to write something nice about me.Except for number 9 while number 10 is my favorite,eventhough it is not true at all.Let's move on to the next section.

PERANGAI BURUK SAYA.

1. Ketagihan rokok.
2. Suka meminta rokok.
3. Suka memaksa.
4. Hipokrit.
5. "Pinjam lighter!" agak annoying.
6. Burung hantu.
7. Selamba je buat aksi lucah.
8. Nak rokok je datang bilik aku.
9. Kejap-kejap minta lighter.
10. Pergi jamban suka kaki ayam.

Ouch! I didn't expect this also.I know some of them were joking about I'm borrowing their lighters.I seldomly asked them to give me a cigar because I can afford myself unless the tokan is run out of stock,the situation which is rarely happen,I swear! HAHA!

It's really cool to know what's people perception towards yourself.I'm glad because I have never been involved in serious cases before.They also still can accept my irritating behavior,fair what? I also have to accept theirs! HAHA!

Sometimes,you can say that,I'm going to do this,no one can stop me because I don't fucking care what people say..blah..blah..blah...In the end,you will feel sorry for yourself.That is the most painful part.Regret.

Inilah hidup.Baik macam mana pun,bukan semua suka,Jahat macam mana pun,bukan semua benci.Yang paling penting ialah cara kita bawa diri.

Movies!

Nothing happened much lately.I just went through another stressful day,thanks to my lecturers for already gave me a lot of assignments and upcoming tests.What could be more fabulous than that?

I have got a new routine.Maybe a new daily habit.Recently,before I went to sleep,I must watch at least two movies.Wahhh, maybe it was lame,or it should be nothing to make fuss about but I'm really having fun with it.

I managed to watch a lot of latest,actually not so latest,maybe not all of them were the latest one but it was a great thing when you didn't actually missed out the opportunities to watch a bunch of breath-taking movies.

I started with five sequels of American Pie.The next day,I watched The House Bunny and Sorority Boys.Three days ago,it was time for The Time Traveler's Wife and Inception.After that,I watched Salt,gotta tell you it was an awesome movie! Last night,I watched Percy Jackson and Sherlock Holmes.

I have planned to watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall but I have no mood because I feel like I'm gonna throw out.I'm not feeling well.

A hundred seperate lines.

As time goes by,people come and go.Just like the blowing wind.Sometimes,without any sign and that even worst.But that's pretty fine because goodbye is like another f-word,better just STFU right?

We seperate,

We try to move on,

We meet new people and

We keep on living.

That is a typical cycle of relationship.Nothing lasts long forever,it is kind of suck to know that.To be honest,I hate being apart from my friends.I really hate it.They were the most irresistable human-being on Earth! No one could replace them.I want to be with them,laugh like there is no tomorrow!

Suddenly I realized about a bigger dream of mine.I believe extreme relaxation brings you nowhere.Therefore,I decided to calm myself down a little bit.I know there is nothing needed to worry about because my friends still with me no matter what.I need to focus more on myself! Yes,I must stop thinking about others and be able to live happily with my recent life.

I met a lot of old friends during this Eid.Everyone is busy studying.They just can't stop nagging up about their assignments,so do I.It is awesome when I thought to myself,these people were my classmates when they were in Standard 3,that's nearly 10 years ago.Look at them now,some studying at UM,UiTM,UIA,UTM,KPTM,Lim Kok Wing,KLMU,and Taylors.Meanwhile,some will fly to Egypt and Japan this upcoming Thursday!

I'm quite happy for them! Success,everyone deserves it.

Currently listening to Crossfire by Brandon Flowers.

It is 10th September 2010! It is Eid! It is my fucking birthday!

I didn't sleep at all.Maybe later.I can't resist blogging.I recieved a lot of birthday wishes on my Facebook! Thanks for making me smiling,like a sexual-addicted psychopath! From the bottom of my butt,I really love you guys.

Besides,I also got a FREE CALL ALL DAY from Maxis.Just now,I managed to call a lot of old friends to wish them 'Selamat Hari Raya!'.It's really good to know their recent lives,even through phonecall.

Sorry if you think I'm a little bit overreacted.Yes,I am! I'm so happy right now.I never experienced Hari Jadi and Hari Raya at the same time! It's like a package! So,this is my first time.

Saya, Muhammad Khalis selaku penulis blog Mindbuggling ini ingin menyusun sepuluh jari memohon maaf jika karangan saya yang telah membuatkan anda tersinggung dan terasa hati.Segala salah dan silap harap diampunkan.

Salam Aidilfitri.

Sekian.

My recent mood - So happy I could just die!!!

I feel like I'm ignoring my blog lately.I'm so sorry,I just returned home from Segamat,Johor.The day was finally came.The day that I have waited for so long before.I'm so excited! I want to do this,I want to do that! So much things needed to be done,I feel alive,once again! Exhaustion is not a matter at all of course!

Johor - place where nothing is good when anything about it came out from my mouth.Actually,I used to love the place before.When I was 8,I once lived with my aunt in Johor Bahru.To tell the truth,I was so in love with it because I felt like I was in Taiwan!

I mean,most of the neighbours were Chinese,with fat ugly dogs everywhere,malls nearby only take five-minutes walk,a lot of big houses and huge buildings.I just can't forget the daily scenery there even it already happened nearly a decade ago.

Time runs fast.Everything's changing,slowly and dramatically.I have never been to Johor since then.Therefore,I can say that Johor Bahru is the only place of Johor where I have stepped onto it's land.Besides,I also wished I could go to Johor again,someday!

Yeah,someday is today!

But once I was accepted to enter UiTM Johor,it clearly change my minds and thoughts.The sweet and lovely memories of Johor are keep fading away,every single day,maybe it was erased by my thick hateness towards my recent place.Every night,I hope that all of this are just a dream,a terrifying nightmare.

Damn,I hope I can turn back the time! Whatever it takes,I have to end this crap! Calm down,two years more to go!

Hayley Williams,I guess we were not meant to be for each other..

I want to watch Gerard Way! Failed.

I want to watch Bill Kaulitz! Failed also.

I want to watch Katy Perry!!!!! Failed again?

A friend of mine told me that Paramore will come to Malaysia.I knew it! Surprisingly,what I knew just now was a little bit frustrating! - The concert will be held on this 19th October,it is weekday,I have to go to my classes! I could just curse like there is no tomorrow seriously!

To tell the truth,I'm not a huge fan of Paramore,so as Hayley Williams at the beginning,I mean in the Riot era.That's why I don't get it why people love Hayley so much.I mean,she's not as beautiful as ancient Greek goddess,she didn't write songs,her voice is a little bit typical and her hair is ugly.

Paramore,I just adore their music when Brand New Eyes came out! Reminds me of old Simple Plan's songs,it rip your chest,straight to your heart.They really can produce a real music,a simply great song.I personally in love with a lot of their songs especially Brick By Boring Brick!

Haiyaaaaa,tickets aren't so expensive afterall,it's only RM95! I hope I can see them,live!

p/s : Lately,I just can't stop singing Airplanes!

The bigger you are,the tougher your life is going to be,agree?

Life does treat me well lately.I don't know why,but I think I'm doing pretty good here.One and a half month to go and after that I'm done for this semester.

When I was in school,I always heard people said that university life is more relaxing compared to school life.Motherfuck,they were all wrong! I shouldn't believe that! Now,I already experienced all the things that university students love to complain about.

First,I have so many quizes and tests await for me.Besides,I have several assignments needed to be done as soon as possible.I have to go to Malacca again for information agencies research and go to KL for company analysis assignment.Not only that,I also have a lot of classes cancellation that needed to be replace before September.

I also have found my assignment partners,you can see them on a picture above.They maybe look like a bunch of nuts but they can perform so much better than girls.I dislike when I have to work with girls,they love to make something that durated just two minutes last long for two hours!

Well,I'm not nagging about all the things.I just want to share a piece of my recent life.

Do you know the famous blogger,Hanis Zalikha who people love to talk about? I saw her! I saw her!

I'm the only guy who saw you without make up and I didn't scream!

I saw a lot of lovebirds here,holding hands to wherever they go and smiling like there's no tomorrow.Eventhough they can make me feel sick and nauseous sometimes,I'm quite happy for them.

Back to the day before,I found it is nearly impossible for me to attract the girl of the dream.It's not that I'm not ready to give a commitment,it's just I haven't found right girl yet.

They say,I'm a little bit fussy when it comes to this.Why not? What's wrong with that? Love comes naturally,so why must I force myself to love someone who I don't? Just like you,I'm also working my ass of to build my own teenage dream.

p/s : I accidently watched Jerseylicious last Saturday and I found all of the girls on the series were insanely ugly and stupid!

In memory of the late Dimas.

I still can't accept the fact that you have died.Now,you're gone and only two left.If you want to know,your sister, Jenny and your besfriend,Tommy were so sad.They should,because you're the electric that lights up the dark room.

You will be missed.We will never forget your stupid behavior that never failed to make us laugh.I want to meet you again soon.I say this because I know we will meet each other again,someday.

I swear to God,I never love animals as much as I love you guys.Farewell my friend!

I believe Chuck Bass is a non-exists character!

I always think that I was born to be an observer.Yes,the observer of human stupidity! It's annoying when you have to live with a bunch of jerks who really can't accept differences and variations.

Friend : Kau balik ke minggu ni?

Me : Balik!

Friend : Kau ni pelik.Dua minggu sekali mesti balik.Cuba tengok aku,dah sebulan lebih aku tak balik!

Excuse me,what world do you live in? We ain't in Germany,we're just in Johor,the southern state of Malaysia.Listen,if you're not going back,it's up to you.I need to free my mind from an idiot who overwhelming my daily life and the only solution is - going back home!

You should try it,it is a good therapy! Oopps,I'm sorry,maybe your life is not as happier as mine,right? In other word,it spells insanely pathetic.Please,you don't have to be like him,like Chuck Bass!

Acting like you're so freaking cool but actually you're not.Whether I'm going back home or not,I'm pretty sure that it has nothing to do with you.Enough said,it's a weird situation since were are not related to each other completely,okay I understand if you considering me as your friend but please mind your own business because your presence and stupid fuck questions and statements are really annoying.

The bottomline is I'm not sent to this world to please you.

Sometimes,giving doesn't mean that you're weak,it means that you're strong enough to let it go.

It's been a month now,but I'm still in a major confusion.I keep asking myself,am I doing the right thing? I'm stuck in the middle of dead or alive situation.I'm unable to make any comprehensive decision and my brain just never cooperate to produce a raw solution to overcome this barriers.

However,I'm used to this.I mean,things always went far from what I have planned and expected.To make sure that I will not suffering heart feelings,or probably any distrimental problems,I kept remind myself over and over again that my life is quite adventureous and I should appreciate it,even it was pretty hard to swallow.

Information Management? Like it or not,there is no such alternatives.I have no options indeed.

Some might say that Law is quite tough for me but I'm not a type of person who easily give up on what I really want.Should I just let it go? Miracle,please happen because I think I'm going to give up now.

Don't blame Katy Perry if everyone is really like her!

If we ever meet again
I won't let you go away (said if we ever meet again)

If we ever ever meet again
I'll have so much more to say (say if we ever meet again)

If we ever ever meet again
I won't let you go away

I don't know whether it is because of the song or it's just me.Everytime I listen to it,I felt like I'm going to drops a litre of tears.Sometimes,especially at night I also get a sudden goosebumps.

Yes,I'm nagging about this song,If We Ever Meet Again by Timbaland featuring Katy Perry! If you never listen to this kind of music,hahaha who doesn't,this ain't a sentimental song.I'm pretty sure that you know it is a fast song but if you really look into it from the different side and angle then you will find it own's meaning inside it.

You have no idea how meaningful this song to me.As mentioned above,I really think that the song is mainly focusses all about unexpressed deep feeling towards something.When it plays,my mind started to remembered several unforgettable memories that I left behind.It's automatic and I can't avoid it.

It's a sad situation.When you read your previous posts on your blog and you can clearly see how time has change and teach you about somekind of things that you didn't even realized what was it.It's nature,people changes.

I keep asking myself,why is past always better than present?

For those who keep asking who the hell Kehoe Cheong is....

Do you have an idol? Or your own role model? It is someone or any person who serves as an example,whose behaviour is emulated by you or others.To be truth,I don't have one.I know,I'm such a pathetic,right?

Do take this note.First of all,I'm a normal and ordinary guy.I'm not a freak or a psycho.

But,I do have an idol who doesn't even exists! He is not my imaginary friend.I repeat,he is a type of doesn't-exists-mortal who I proclaimed I want to be like and he is nobody as he only appears in my head.I know this is too complicated to explain,even that old lady on Murder She Wrote or Doctor Oz can't investigate this.

For those who keep asking who the hell is Kehoe Cheong,I admit that Kehoe Cheong is my alter ego,my damn idol! I repeat,you will never know him because he was created by my vision.Here's a little bit information about him :

1. He's only 52kg.
2. He's 170cm tall.
3. He owns a Scooby Doo's van.
4. He will get into University of Malaya someday.
5. He will further study in Japan,it's all about Political Science.
6. He will get married when he turns 22.
7. He will be somebody.

See,that's why I love to sleep.It makes me more hyper-imaginative because all of my dreams are pretty inspiring.I never look into the negative side of this type of day-dreaming.I mean,what's wrong when you have your own creational and conceptual idol? Besides,I don't think I'm suffering from identity confusion.I only look him as an example,not my second self.

Moral : Don't be afraid to dream.Don't mind others,they all just asshole.

Mula-mula saya rasa suka.Lepas dua tiga hari,rasa agak homesick.

I have been here for about a week now.I'm trying to fit in myself here,where the place is so unparallel with my previous universe.Cehh,macam lah anak orang kaya kan,hahaha.Finally,the bloody exhausting orientation program was over.Yesterday,I attended a class,it was like a caunseling session actually and the professor asked everyone a question,

Apa yang awak rasa selama awak seminggu di UiTM ni?

Then,my turn to answer...

Mula-mula saya rasa suka.Lepas dua tiga hari,rasa agak homesick.

When they heard word homesick,they all started to laugh,especially the girls.Come on,what was so funny about being homesick? Please,you don't have to acted like you were so strong.Admit it,that you miss your home,your heaven!

Homesick? I really love to replace word homesick with culture shock! I'm so shocked here,everything is way different from my old life.Since eighteen years ago,I never been apart from my family and friends.I kissed my mom every single day,I hugged my sisters before they went to school and I talked to my bestfriends anywhere and anytime,we have been together through thick and thin.So,what do you expect me to feel?

Right now,I think I'm doing fine.I can't believe I say this but Segamat wasn't so bad afterall! It's raining every evening here,most suitable period for me to sleep.

But,to be truth,I don't give a damn if people want to judge me based on my answer.People knows nothing,they were just pretend like they know everything.I don't have to worry about that.I know,it's just a typical phase that I have to go through,it's only now or never.

How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to

Yesterday,my two old friends and I went to Metro Kajang.Why Kajang? So much better if in Kuala Lumpur,right? Actually,Kajang is our hometown.We would like to immortalise our last chapter here,where the place we met each other before.

We will be in our own seperate lines,Pat will go to college in Bangi and his family will move to Seremban while Andy didn't have any plan about future but he is surely will further study somewhere and I will go to Johor,tomorrow.I wonder how is life going to be without them.We knew each other since 10 years ago and I didn't expected time runs this fast.

We sat at mamak and started to talk and laugh non-stoply.Then,we went to karaoke 'jamban' and we sang about twelve songs.Yes,including Goyang Inul and Bunga-Bunga Cinta.Geli tapi best.Hahahaha.We had a really blast because there's nothing more relaxing than to be with your old friends and do a lot of super-stupid things altogether.

Well,maybe it is just a typical phase that every human have to go through.They say,all good things will come to an end,don't worry because time will tell you everything.To all my bestfriends,you know who you are,right? We all take different paths in life but no matter where we go,we take a little of each other everywhere.I will miss you guys.

Moral : Many people will walk in and out of your life,but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.Appreciate your friends because they will not going to be by your side forever.

In the next two days,everything will get destroyed.

I would say my college or university life is far from what I have imagined before.I have done everything for not to be there this Saturday.

1. I explained everything to my parents.Failed.
2. I asked them to let me make my own decision for my own future.Failed.
3. I promised to my mother that I'm going to pay back her RM600,that she paid for the university bills.Failed.
4. I will find my own place to live.Failed.
5. I will working back for Kenny Rogers.Failed.
6. I didn't eat what my mother's cooked.Failed.
7. I didn't speak a word to my parents.Failed.
8. I will runaway from home.Guess what?
9. I already did that this morning but my father found me at KTM Kajang.Failed.
10. Once there,every final exam,I will failed myself,in purpose.

See,only God knows how I don't want to be there.Yes,I'm a spoiled brat,a chihuahua dog,or maybe Aoki Lee.You can say anything you want,come on,try me.People always love to say something eventhough it contains nothing inside!

Hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.I just need someone to talk to about this,no one seems understand what I have to go through.Therefore,I have to victomizes my blog,which is so called my online expression.Now I'm a little bit relieved and enough said it really helps me a lot.For those who are get annoyed by my writings above,I'm so sorry but still,it has nothing to do with you.

Moral : Do not against your parents because there will be no win-win situation between you and them.They always win no matter what.

Once upon a time ago,your mother is way chic than Madonna.

I really like my recent life.No school so there's no more homework.No job so don't have to sleep early because there is no more tiring day.It's so good if you can do what you want to do.I never felt this free before.

Yesterday,Esya found a lot of old clothes and shoes inside my mother's ancient cupboard that already placed in the store backyard for more than 20 years! Therefore,she decided to try out several clothes and here they are.

Funny,isn't it? I couldn't imagine my mother wear this outfit.I'm pretty sure you guys have seen your parents's photo albums when they were young,and so what's your immediate impression? Your father was so handsome with his long hair and tight ripped jeans while your mother was a very sexy,exactly with very bright red lips and smokey eyes wore a plain t-shirt with mom jeans.

It is so obvious that you have to listen to them in every aspects,fashion is included.No wonder old people always proud about their past times.

It's a cobra poison! Quick,help me,I'm paralyzed!

I'm broken-hearted.Give me Xanax or something because I'm really sick and tired to think about it.It's just a week more before I go to university.Actually,I don't want to be there but since my mom already paid all the bills,I realized that I just can't easily say no.

Place : UiTM Segamat,Johor.
Course : Diploma in Information Management.

Information Management?? What the hell's that? I didn't applied for it and that's what I got? Seeing all of my friends get what they actually wanted since in school kind of make me feel really bad about myself.I'm not envious or jealous of them but why? Why? Why? Why I have to study for something I don't even know what it is?

I'm not being rebelious here.I just want to voice out my frustrations because it seems like no one is going to give a damn about it.I went to school and I'm not stupid.In fact,I know what I'm capable of.My SPM's result also qualified for both courses I applied before(Law and TESL).

If there were too many geniuses out there,why several of my friends who scored C in both Bahasa Malaysia and Sejarah managed to get into Law course?

You know what's hurt the most? When you have to say goodbye to something you've aimed for since long time ago.I have to recreate myself back and it might takes forever.Let's start this thing all over again.

Again,I'm not go against fate.This is far from the truth,I know things happened for reasons and I never blame anyone but myself.I get it...

DAH BUKAN REZEKI AKU.

Believe me,I know how it feels when we failed at something we put a lot of effort onto.

Life is all about accepting and appreciating.I'm practising that right now before it's too late.I'm trying to be a better person with a good quality of life.I have kind of feeling that life is short,nowadays.

I will accept differences and variations,not forget to mention also my fate.In short,what's written for me up there.I better get used to it because it is obviously cumpolsory.I believe He knows best and whether I like it or not I'm soooo have to deal with it.Besides,I'm a man and I will never run away from my own problems.

I will appreciate my past and present momments,whether it was laugh-til-4 in the morning or tears-fall-endlessly momments.I hope that I can be more grateful to God because he had gave me everything.Apparently,I have nothing to complains or questions at least for this time and I really wish this will last forever.It might sounds impossible but who knows about future?

I guess,my life is going to be so unexpected and unpredictable like it used to before.Well,that's life.When what you have hoped for didn't happened and you just want to ask God,'Why?' Now,I realized that is so inappropriate and unnessesary things to say.Forgive me,I shouldn't acted that way!

When you faced a lot of complications and problems,instead why me,better you should use try me!