Apr 27, 2011


I don't know what the hell is going wrong with me.I screwed my paper again today,for the third times! It's funny,the paper is used to be my favorite subject,but everything went out of their tracks.I swear.When I finished,I saw all people were like,

"Nasib baik paper tadi senang,harap-harap lah dapat A!"

It was a three hour-durated paper but some of them just took not more than one hour to make it done! While I was sitting there,alone like a dog.I feel like I'm in a hell right now.I couldn't escape from it.This is the time where I would ask the world,where the hell is time machine?

Stayed up at night until morning,memorized it all until I felt like I'm going to throw out something slushy from my fucking stomach and still unable to do it well.I have no reasons for not to be angry with myself.Reading and memorizing are easy for me back then but I seem have lost the magic.

If I used to hope for getting an A before,now it seems like I have to hope for not repeating the same paper next semester.Yes,I don't think I'm going to maintain my pointer for this semester.You know,in university,is all about pointer,right.I'm not ready to tolerate with those judgement which is going to be appear soon.Final is killing me,it owned me this time.I'm half dead.

I'm so upset right now,completely upset.

Apr 25, 2011



You are the one who asked for this,making me feel like I am a devil in front of others.But it's okay,I'm alright.I have been by your side through all these years,believing you,defending you,and this is what I got? Whatever you trying to put on,she and they are still in front of my door,not yours.I see no solution in our problems.Heck,I don't even seek for one.If you think you have an ego,please remember that I have it one too.

It's funny when I thought to myself,that we used to act like our friendship is like going to be last for an eternity.I was clearly mistaken.What a foolish side of me! Stop blaming others for leaving you because it is not their faults.Reasons are in front of your eyes,dude.How long does it going to take you to realize that? Take a look at yourself.Figure out who you really are.

Anyway,thanks for everything.The joy,the laugh,and all the great moments we shared together before.I'm not mad at you,but I'm just dissapointed you turned into everything you said you would never be.

Be a man dude,because you never act like one.

Apr 16, 2011


I might not staying in a super massive mansion in Bangsar or Damansara.I might not riding a jawdropping car like Mazda 2 or Audi A4.I might not using Blackberry or iPhone.I might not wearing clothes from Topman.I might not playing Xbox or Playstation 3.I might don't have my Europe vacation pictures posted on my Facebook.I might don't have most of the things that I want.

I'm a human and I'm not perfect.Sometimes,I was tempted by luxurious lifestyle reflected by other human.It's hard when you thought to yourself,that you have to work extraordinary hard to get what you want,while some other people just sitting there doing absolutely nothing,and they already got everything they wished for.

No,I don't blame anyone.There are plenty of reasons to be happy.I'm grateful that I was sent to this world by this way,where I need to find my ability and strength all by myself.If you think your life is adventurous,so am I.

Yes,I was born to survive.

Apr 12, 2011


Final examination is coming up next week.

I'm not going back home during the study week.It's only four days.So,I better do some revision and preparation for my examination.At this stage,I really do not care about eating what,going home when or hangout with whom.All I care is I want to score my papers.I'm totally afraid if my pointer will not going to maintain.

Well,the bigger you are,so as the problems you may face.Yes,my second semester is quite tough.Sometimes,I felt just I want to take a sleep for all month,hoping it ends as soon as possible.Whatever.I called my mother last night.I said,

"Emak,jangan marah tau kalau pointer jatuh.Sem ni macam susah sikit lah.Tolong doa-doakan ya."

My mother replied.As usual,she said,

"Alahh,mak tak kisah pun pointer-pointer tu.Yang penting,belajar.Insyaallah boleh buat.Lepas tu,jangan tinggal solat."

Whenever I stressed,I love to remember what my mother said.The sayings was curable,it totally worked since last semester.It was like,a spirit booster injection! She's being supportive in her own way.Sorry to say but my mother is fucking sweet! Damn,how lucky I am!

Kononnya tengah study...

I'm going to do the best,for sure! Bring it on,let the battle begins! Hahahaha!

Apr 9, 2011


I'm not in a well condition,damn,I'm suffering a terrible fever.I miss my mother.Please wish me get well soon because I have three tests and one final paper on this upcoming week.Enough.

I just finished watching The Arrival.You know what is that,don't you? A series of short videos which reveal on the agenda and propaganda planned by those who called themselves Satanic worshiper,Anti-Christ,Freemasonry or Illuminati.

It contains 50 episodes altogether,each one of them durated only 10 minutes.Every single episode never fails to impress me.I obtained tons of meaningful truths from it.Yes,I am about believe all of them.Everything happened got its own hidden messages.Purpose? Intention? I have no idea,go watch the video by yourself,buddy.I'm sure you won't regret it.

I was like a puppet.I was controlled.I have been told to believe this and deny that.I never knew that a pyramid is more than just a weird boxy structure.I never knew that Pharaoh's family married to themselves to ensure an actual royal family.I never knew that one eye signifies something really bad.I never knew that there are tons of pop songs were worshiping the Lucifer.I never knew what's behind the 9/11 tragedy.I never knew Princess Diana died on conspiracy.I thought UFO was really exists.Dinosaurs? Lady Gaga? Checkered floor? Star? Pentagon? Double cross? Statue of Liberty? Crows? Black dog? I never knew this,and that.So many things!

They were playing on us.They were controlling and manipulating our mind.I can feel the world is about to reach its end.Peace is just a word which people create,it doesn't exists in real life.The signs were everywhere,it's up to us whether we realize about it or not.See,the world is not all about you.You are nothing,if you don't have a guts to be something.

Allah,please wake me up.I have been sleeping for a long time.

Apr 1, 2011


I miss my old times.Especially when I was at 7,or 8,or maybe 9 years old.Back to the moment,where I was addicted and obsessed with Digimon.I still remember watching them at 10am every Sunday.I even cried when I missed an episode of it.Did you watch them?

I am so happy right now.I already downloaded the entire first season of Digimon in my laptop.Come,come,let's watch together!

If you ask me,what is my favorite Digimon? I would say Patamon,because he is the coolest Digimon ever! He is dropdead weak when he is Patamon,but when he evolved,everything's change.Patamon holds the phrase of expect the unexpected.

Patamon,you are weak! You know your attack is not going to affect much.I mean,Air Beam? I could just kick your ass,PIG! Don't be mad,just kidding,you know I love you,right pig?

Angemon,why are you so cool? How can a pig evolved into an angel? It doesn't make any sense.Wait,oh yes,that's why we called it cartoon.

I once named my cat Patamon,but he's dead now.It's up to you,whether you want to call me childish or immature.Sorry,it's just me.Digimon is a matter,which is going to be last forever in my heart and soul.