NEXT YEAR'S WISH

"I want to be something,something that I never thought I could be."

-Muhammad Khalis.

Phsycopath Revealed!

Follow lah blog aku,follow tau,follow tau,tau?

I received above notes,quite several times.I don't understand them,seriously.Come on,who can stand such things? You? Don't lie because I know you hate it as much as I am,didn't you? I mean,who are you? What makes you think people will follow you when you ask them to do so?

Besides,I don't get it when people get super-duper obsessed about the famous bloggers in Malaysia.I don't know them actually.In fact,I don't want to know about them.I only know Hanis Zalikha because everyone knows her in my campus.I visited her blog once and I'm pretty shocked to see her followers like,thousands of them! I can see a lot of people write about her,praise her and paste her pictures on their blogs.

Finally,I came up with a conclusion,that people want to be like her! Followers will make you popular.If you have more followers,then you will become more popular.That was what on their mind.It's funny when I viewed someone's blog and he wrote something sounds like this,

Aku rasa tak payah lah aku cerita siapa Hanis Zalikha,Cik Epal dan Sue Ann Joe ni.Kalau tak kenal jugak,baik berhenti jadi blogger lah.

Hahaha,kesah pulak aku? Baik kau je yang berhenti jadi blogger.Lepas tu kau pergi ampu,pergi kipas idola-idola kau tu.Is this some kind of extremely stupid blogging rules made by stupid people? It is mandatory to recognize those famous bloggers?

This has nothing to do with envy or jealousy.Maybe my blog is boring but it's clearly not an issue to me.When it comes to blogging,it is all about art.Yes,blogging is an art.Blogging is more than blogging to me.In my world,blogging requires my creativity to turn my emotional expression into something beneficial for my own sake.That was the only reason why I don't really care about followers and stuff.I don't hunt for fame because it is not my thing.

Blogging ain't an industry.Therefore,it is so much better if I have no followers at all compared to those people who are willing to kiss someone's ass just to increase the amount of their followers.Wake up morons,life is more than that.This is not an accusation.I'm not pointing my finger to anyone or put all the blame on someone's shoulder.I just thinking that I'm too awesome to be like them,a bunch of buttkissers and attention seekers!

You don't have to tell me to follow your blog because I will follow you only if I want to,okay?

Judgemental of beautiness

There are two pictures down here.What do you think about the girl? Guys,please make your own selection,which girl suits your criteria?

Do you have any idea that they are the same person? She's Tiffany from sensational girl group of South Korea,called Girls Generation.I don't really know if she's underwent some surgeries or vice versa.I just knew it from my sister because she's more into K-pop stuff.Actually,I don't care as long as she's super cute and extremely gorgeous.I have downloaded her pictures into my cellphone.I just can't take my eyes off her!

Some people just keep bashing them because of plastic surgeries.Come on,what era do we live in right now? If you're looking for natural and stuff,let me send you to Amazon.I'm a simple person.I don't judge past.I don't deny someone's beauty.I'm just being truth to myself and that's make me feel that surgeries are fake substitution of hatred.

Do you know how it feels to be an ugly duckling? Do you know how it feels when you are powerless? Do you know how it feels when you didn't own any strength to appreciate yourself? No matter which road was taken,it's inappropriate for us to against it because everyone deserves to be beautiful.

The confession of differences and variations

I used to envy those guys who really enjoyed playing guitar,skateboard,fixing bicycle,soccer,rugby and stuff.They even can write songs for their girlfriend! I mean,those activities which resemble any cool actions or mans world.

They seem to be perfect because they were pretty cool.You know,you can see those guys on most American teenage movies,want me to list down? It will takes forever.

The problem is,I think I'm 80% introvert.I enjoyed indoor activities most compared to the outdoor one because I thought it is more relaxing.Damn,when it comes to socialize,my life is all about extreme relaxation! Here are several activities I enjoyed most :

1. Smoke.It's a very bad bad habit but I never went through a day without it.
2. Karaoke.I sounds like a machine when I started to sing.No one cares actually.
3. DVDs.I watched nearly three movies a night.I can't avoid it,until now.
4. Games.You might think I'm a weirdo but I just finished playing my Pokemon Fire Red about last week.Lately,I'm working my ass off on Harvest Moon : Friends of Mineral Town.
5. Write.I love to write something inspirational for myself.
6. Draw.I love to draw something beyond my imagination.
7. Blog.I love blogging but I'm not a constant blogger though.
8. Cards.I'm addicted to it.I can spent eight hours a day on playing cards.
9. Dream.I create my own alter ego and other characters inside my mind.
10. Sleep.The best damn thing and the greatest gift of God.

See,there's nothing special about me.I was like your little brother.I was the least attractive guy compared to my friends or other guys.Girls will never look at me or fall in love with me,unless something is going wrong with their brains.People think what I need most is life,that was so mean.

Motherfuck,I do have a life and I don't give a damn if people called me lifeless.I can't deny it brings me no where physically but it brings me to somewhere far far far away to a level located in internal side of myself which can be spelled as satisfaction.I don't have to like the things that I dislike just to make myself more attractive in public eyes.I am not that desperate and I hate playing dramas.

I always said that I know I'm good at something but I just haven't found it yet.Well,I believe that.People born with different interests and that is where the ultimate word called variation came from.Being happy is my top priority.I will never be the old me again.The guy who didn't have any ability to appreciate himself just the way he are.

Life Is All About Moving On

Just got back home from a long chat with a very good friend of mine,Ahmad Firdaus.We're not gossiping like two sluts nagging about something but it's more into manly conversation.I admit,every single time I met him,I always obtained a new lesson in my life.In other words,I really appreciate those moments I had.

As I grew older,I found it was difficult to meet someone who I can talk to mainly about everything.You know,I'm not the type of pathetic people who love to talk trash actually.

I miss all of my friends who used to be my brainwasher! I love to listen to their magical words.That was the only reason I really appreciated those so called guardian angels.Moreover,when a lot of really bad things happened to you and you just can't even swallow it anymore,that was the time you actually need those people.They calm you down,listen to your hectic problems and try to give a raw solution to help you.Please tell me,what could be more greater than that? God sent them to simplify our problems,to make our life much more easier.

But I realized,as times goes by,most of them just walk away from you and they went to meet someone because they think it's better to create a new storyline than live in an awful drama.I believe,friends walk away because they could walk away.I will not kiss their ass just to make them stay with me.When people walk away from you,just let them go because your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.It's not that they are being mean to you.It's just their chapter in your life is over.

I don't want to live in a fantasy.I don't want to be a fool.I don't want to be influenced by those fairytale stories because they don't even exists.I'm sick of expect something beyond the ugly truth.I just want to keep it real.

Final examination - Result!

I just opened my Google account and suddenly I found

I want to admit that I'm so happy,I could die right now! I screamed like a hell.You can say whatever you want,I don't care! HAHA

Ohh,happy day~

This means big enough for me.I thought I couldn't handle this course because it's not the course that I want at first,and I didn't applied for it.Besides,I think all of the subjects were extremely hard.Sometimes,I just want to gave up,quit and apply for another courses.I never thought I could score 3 or above because I didn't have any desirable passions that will lead to it.

But God has a better plan for me.I believe things happened for reasons.It was beyond my expectation! However,it's just another victory.Obviously,I still got a long way to go.I must work harder starting from now.Damn,I kinda really like my life right now because I feel like I already accomplished something which I never thought I could.Alhamdulillah.

Kawan-kawan,jangan jealeous! Sekarang,boleh lah aku tidur dengan nyenyak sehingga January.

Kamu semua ada bela binatang tak?

I once have a lot of pets.Squirrel,goldfish,tortoise,lizard and cat.I never bought them,they just came naturally to my house.At certain stages,I don't think I could be able to handle all of them.I believe animals can hear what you don't say.Therefore,

1. My squirrel and tortoise were ran away maybe because they felt unwanted.HAHA.
2. My goldfishes were dead.
3. My lizard got killed by neighbor's cat.

All of those nonsense pets were my sister's idea.Damn,I dislike pets which I can't kiss or hug.I just can't feel their love.You know,like fish,they live underwater,they will never listen to what you say.Tortoise,they weren't friendly at all,always went inside their shells whenever I want to play with them.Squirrel,I don't blame them because I'm not a big fan of small hairball,I hate rats and their friends.Lizard,I don't have any idea what to do with them.

Cat! Cat was the only exception! I owns a cat.I called her Tommy.Wait a minute,the cat is a girl so what's up with her name? Tommy? I can explain this.I found her inside the store backyard when she was a baby,she was alone with no family.I felt pity so I decided to take her home.At that time,she's very petite,her gender was unidentified and I thought she was a boy.I just named her Tommy!

She's not very pretty compared to your cats,or other cats.She's black and she couldn't walk well because she's handicapped.Besides,she also got a sightness problem,I think she was half-blinded.She's not so friendly with people she didn't used to.But that doesn't affect my love towards her.She's 2.1 kg now.She eat a lot.She sleep a lot.Just like me.She slept with me every night and she's the one who woke me up the next day.Whenever I have problem and I need to talk to someone,I talked to Tommy.She's understanding,she maybe looks stupid and clueless but once I look deep inside her eyes,I can hear,

Be strong baby,I knew you can do it!

No one likes her,those kids hate her so much because they said Tommy was ugly.They used to hit Tommy with rackets when they were playing badminton in front of my house.I was like,you hit my cat,in front of my house? Not once,not twice but what?

Lepas tu mulut aku tak henti-henti bagi salam sayang cerca bernanah dekat budak-budak tu.Aku tak ambil peduli anak siapa,miskin ke kaya,anak emas ke anak yatim,aku sembur je.Ye lah,siapa tak marah,kucing tu dah aku anggap macam keluarga aku sendiri,boleh pula nak pukul-pukul.Celaka.

Berita sedih : Tommy dah tak virgin lagi.Aku ada video dia mengawan dengan kucing rumah sebelah,memang sakan!

Past remains as past.

I just opened my school yearbook.You know what type of book,didn't you? Mine was called Inspirasi,I know it sounds weird.It was last year session,which is my final year in the school.I was laughing my ass so bad when I saw those class photos because some of my friends gave a bizzare faces on those photos!

Especially when I turned into the pages where my class was on.Ohh,I really miss them because I never met most of them after school ends.I wonder what happened to them.When we were in high school,we made a lot of pinky promises like,

1. Habis SPM ni,kita kerja nak? Kerja satu tempat lah senang,apa-apa hal boleh mengumpat.
2. Lepas tu,kita sewa la rumah,duduk ramai-ramai,baru best!
3. Nanti kalau nak buat driving license,inform lah aku,boleh buat sama-sama!

Well,like I mentioned just now,it was just a pinky promises.Back on that time,I knew it will not going to be happen but I kept myself silent because I don't have guts to ruining that so called precious moments.All of those promises didn't really happened,everyone just mind their own businesses including me.Well,I'm not surprised at all.

When I was in Form 2,I remembered my teacher,Mrs.Zarani said,

Zaman awak sekolah ni,awak semua hargailah dengan sebaik-baiknya.Sebab ia salah satu jangka masa yang paling seronok dalam hidup awak.Lepas habis sekolah,susah awak nak berkumpul sama-sama lagi.Percayalah cakap saya.

I never forget what she said and that's what I interpreted to my soul.Luckily,I managed to graduated in high school with bittersweet memories and of course I will remember the sweet one most.The place where I met myself,my bestfriends,and also my first girlfriend.

I learned it is important to live our current live to the fullest.I think,I appreciate every moments of my high school life.I'm not a drama king but seriously high school is more than high school to me.

p/s : Just finished watch Japanese drama,My Boss My Hero.That's why I'm feeling so in the school mood!

I don't change,I just grow up.

Just got back home from meeting my friends.We were playing cards and stuff.In short,all of us just went through a very typical day and nothing was going on much.It's just another day.

When I arrived home,I don't know what to do and I just sat on the couch tuned on MTV channel.Suddenly,it was Keane with their song,Everybody's Changing! It used to be my favorite song before! That was the moment I thought to myself about all of the people around me and I realized they are not the same person as they were before.

My sister,the youngest one who is 11 years old already showed drastic changes.If I wasn't mistaken,she never care how she look likes before.She refused to wear make ups and all of her clothes were like,so Kikilala and stuff.Now,she completely had a massive transformations because she started to put on some make-ups,she wore tight jeans and high heels.She once wore a skirt,that was even worst! Damn,she looks older than she is. She didn't watch Pheneas and Ferb anymore because she's now so into those sluts of Kardashians.

I can feel that some of my friends are changing,into better or worst,I don't really care about it actually.Some of them went to college and turned into another person.They took drugs,alcohols,went to clubs and stuffs.While some went to work elsewhere,they already met new friends and finally forget all of the things.

To be frank,I don't blame them.In fact,I don't blame anyone.I guess I'm big enough to understand that nothing lasts forever.Sooner or later,time will change everything.Let's just don't expect something too much,otherwise it will be ended up with frustrations.

Everbody's Changing.This song resonates me very well because I used to be stuck in the past.I felt this song reminds me that I don't have to worry if everything is changing.I will find my own changes.I don't have to change what is good in me but throw away what is bad.I don't have to follow anyone else but I don't fight for the change itself.

Holiday is never meant for those morons.

To be truth,I never hate holiday in my entire lifetime unlike those lifeless morons who wished holiday come as soon as possible but make an annoying statement about their boredom on Facebook and stuff not long after holiday arrived.Go out and do something outrageous for yourself,assholes!

I didn't do any job recently because it was already too little too late.I only have less than a month left.Therefore,I will use my golden moment as well as it can be.When it comes to life,I must stop thinking what to do and I better go with the flow while live it to the fullest!

I don't know how to describe my activities during this holiday.I'm a little bit clueless,whether I should start my words with day first,or night first.Usually,people start their life during the day time but...

Day.

I woke up everyday at 4pm,and if I was lucky enough,I woke up an hour earlier which is at 3pm.Then,I have my bath time,shower-singing and head-banging at 5pm.After that,I have my lunch at 6pm.

Night.

I surfed internet at 8pm and it lasts for nearly two hours usually.Then,I went out with my friends and only got back home at 3am.I watched two movies everyday until 7am.Last but not least,I played my Pokemon Fire Red until 10am.I went to sleep not long after that.

Benda yang sama.Berulang-ulang,ulang,ulang,ulang,ulang,ulang....Mesti kau orang kata aku ni membosankan tapi terus terang aku bahagia dengan cara hidup macam ni.

I can feel my life symbolizes the real definition of a holiday.

If it wasn't because of your stupidity.

There are several hot issues lately that everyone is talking about.

Firstly,did you already watch a very stupid video on Facebook? I don't remember the title because someone tagged me on that shit and I was like,what the fuck? The extremely stupid girl who cried over a fugly guy and they ended up the video by kissing each other in front of public.If I wasn't mistaken,the title was Romantika di Kuala Lumpur.What a silly name?

Secondly,about the most famous doctor in the country which is the one and only Dr.Rozmey.I once visited his fanpage on Facebook or Twitter and I was rolling on the floor laughing reading all of the comments made by his 'fans'.Only one word came up in my mind whenever I saw his face,it spelled disaster.Everything is disaster about him,don't you think? His mushroom-shaped hair,his outrageous outfit like he bought in a bundle nearby and his meltdown movies which is said to be a phenomenon,but nothing is actually going to happen.

Like I said before on my previous post,I'm an observer of human stupidity.But,at certain times,I'm not quite sure whether it can be considered as stupid or not because when it comes to individual personals and interests,I guess it's better to shut our mouth and say nothing about it.

If you have a couple of things that might potentially lead to hatred and dissatisfaction which caused by my writings,I am so sorry.I'm a grown man and I don't have such fishy intentions pointing my fingers to anyone and I didn't wrote this blog to boycotting and condemning particular people.My blog contents stand for general phrases.

Whether you accept my apology or not,I don't give a fuck about it anymore,it's up to you.